It's early to have been kicked out of a pub, but Sirius managed it nicely and now we're back here and he was dancing my mum around to "Oh! Sweet Nothing" which was a bit creepy really but now he's just on the floor where he says he's going to stay because he can still smell Otto and Ted fucking on the couch every time he tries to sleep on it. The couch at Ted's house, not the one here.

Anyway, you lot get a special preview of the ministry's latest stupid shite. My dad works at a small printing press and they were just about to start production on this book about the war with Grindelwald and the ministry up and commandeered them so for some fraction of what they'd usually be making, they've got to print these ridiculous pamphlets. ( Look. )

The explanation of You Know Who is really enlightening, I thought. Also, the pizza coupon. Does anyone know where Pitza's Pizza even is? Because if the Ministry is going to buy me some potato wedges, I'm not going to say no. Ministry owes us all more than potato wedges, but it's a start.

Sirius says I'm a pitiful, lazy-arse boring-fuck drunk, but the pamphlet tells me that my "fatigue" is suspicious, so I'd better sleep maybe.